FHA and Investor Specialist

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More Irish Humor

Driving 

Paddy, the famous Irishman, is driving home  after downing a few at the  local pub. He turns a corner and much to his  horror he sees a tree in the  middle of the road. He swerves to avoid it and  almost too late realizes  that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and  discovers that his drive home has turned into  a slalom course, causing him  to veer from side to side to avoid all the  trees. Moments later he hears  the sound of a police siren and brings his car  to a stop. The officer  approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on  earth he was doing. Paddy tells  his story of the trees in the road when the  officer stops him mid sentence  and says. Fer crissakes, Paddy, that's yer air  freshener! 

Flies 

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a  pub and each order a pint of  Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them  over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman  looks disgusted, pushes his  pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches  in to the glass, pinches the  fly between his fingers and shakes him while  yelling, Spit it out ya little so and so! Spit it out!  

 Irish Miracle

 An Irishman who had a little too much to drink  is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is  weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. So, says the cop to the driver, where have ya been? Why, I've been to the pub of course,  slurs the drunk. Well, says the cop, it looks like you've had quite a few to  drink this evening. I did all  right," the drunk says with a smile. Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car? Oh, thank heavens, sighs the drunk.  "For a minute there, I thought I had gone deaf."

 

Michael Byrne

Mortgage Specialist

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 "A referral is the greatest compliment I can receive"

 

10 commentsMichael Byrne • March 26 2007 03:44PM

A little late- St Patrick's Day- Irish Humor

St Patrick's Day Humor  - Old Jokes No Idea who to credit.

 

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. 

When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the
Irishman started to leave. 

"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?" 

"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

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"I've Lost Me Luggage"

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K.  Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.  An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

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"Water to Wine"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . 

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.  He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" 

"Just water," says the priest. 

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" 

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord!  He's done it again!"

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"The Brothel"

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."

Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.

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Irish Cemetery 

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.. 

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul.  He lived to the ripe old age of 87." 

"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."! 

Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!" 

"What was his name?" asks Paddy. 

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims,

"Miles, from Dublin."

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Irish Predicament 

Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down, but says nothing. 

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole Mulvihill just sits there. 

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. 

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

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Irish Last Request 

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. 

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" 

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.  My husband passed away last night." 

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.  Tell me, did he have any last requests?" 

She says, "That he did, Father..." 

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" 

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!' 


 

 

Michael Byrne

Mortgage Specialist

Contact Me

NJ Mortgage Banker        USDA Loans      Jumbo Loans      FHA Loans     VA Loans     my site

Zillow Blog          My Blog          stated income loans               Loan Officers: Do More Loans

Foreign National Mortgage Financing     Rehab Loans        Conforming Jumbo Loans

Co-Op Financing   Union Plus Mortgage    Super Jumbo Loans     Harp Loans

 

 "A referral is the greatest compliment I can receive"

 

1 commentMichael Byrne • March 26 2007 12:01PM

FHA to the rescue?

In recent years, FHA loans have had a decreasing market share for a variety of reasons.  Loan limits, down payment requirements, repair requirements, as well as the rising popularity of neg am loans and interest only options have contributed to a lack of FHA loans.  With subprime securitizations taking a huge hit currently and with underwriting standards changing on an almost daily basis, it would be nice to see FHA make a comeback.

The Expanding Homeownership Act of 2006 which has passed the House vote hopes to catch up FHA Lending with the times.  As outlined at http://www.theorator.com/bills109/hr5121.html , this FHA reform bill is looking at longer amortizations, possible risk-based pricing, simplified down payments, and higher FHA loan limits.  Unfortunately, a bill takes some time to be passed through legislative channels.  Coupled with FHA's relaxed standards on appraisal issues in recent years, FHA Lending could be in vogue again.  The question is when.

 

Michael Byrne

Mortgage Specialist

Contact Me

NJ Mortgage Banker        USDA Loans      Jumbo Loans      FHA Loans     VA Loans     my site

Zillow Blog          My Blog          stated income loans               Loan Officers: Do More Loans

Foreign National Mortgage Financing     Rehab Loans        Conforming Jumbo Loans

Co-Op Financing   Union Plus Mortgage    Super Jumbo Loans     Harp Loans

 

 "A referral is the greatest compliment I can receive"

 

13 commentsMichael Byrne • March 17 2007 06:25PM

What if you lost your cellphone? A couple of tips.

Just this weekend while I was going out to dinner with my fiancee', I lost my cellphone.  As it turns out, it fell out of my jacket when I put on my gloves.  Aside from the usual "where did I last have it?" thoughts, a couple of things occurred to me: 

Does my cell phone message include my office number or another secondary contact number? 

Is it on "ring" or silent so I can call my phone number and hopefully locate it? 

Why didn't I purchase a second phone at minimal cost so I would have my phone for an occasion like this?

Why didn't I put a sticker on my phone that said:"If found, please call xxx-xxx to return to Michael Byrne and claim your reward."?

Fortunately, someone did pick up my phone I got it back.  Living in the information age where timing is everything, I will now put the thoughts I had into action and maybe you should as well.

 

Michael Byrne

Mortgage Specialist

Contact Me

NJ Mortgage Banker        USDA Loans      Jumbo Loans      FHA Loans     VA Loans     my site

Zillow Blog          My Blog          stated income loans               Loan Officers: Do More Loans

Foreign National Mortgage Financing     Rehab Loans        Conforming Jumbo Loans

Co-Op Financing   Union Plus Mortgage    Super Jumbo Loans     Harp Loans

 

 "A referral is the greatest compliment I can receive"

 

1 commentMichael Byrne • March 11 2007 07:23PM

Do Yourselves a Favor: Re-Pre-Approve Your Clients

With the recent changes in the mortgage industry regarding the secondary mortgage market, many buyers that have been pre-approved in the past year for homes may not qualify under today's guidelines.  This holds true primarily for subprime borrowers and borrowers looking for "alt-a" loans. 

As a Loan Officer, it is important to put a date of issue for a pre-approval as well as an expiration date for pre-approvals.  Personally, I like to specify each pre-approval letter for a specific property in order to make sure my client can obtain financing on that specific property.

With lenders currently tightening standards on many loan programs, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure in today's market.

 

Michael Byrne

Mortgage Specialist

Contact Me

NJ Mortgage Banker        USDA Loans      Jumbo Loans      FHA Loans     VA Loans     my site

Zillow Blog          My Blog          stated income loans               Loan Officers: Do More Loans

Foreign National Mortgage Financing     Rehab Loans        Conforming Jumbo Loans

Co-Op Financing   Union Plus Mortgage    Super Jumbo Loans     Harp Loans

 

 "A referral is the greatest compliment I can receive"

 

13 commentsMichael Byrne • March 10 2007 06:20PM